Reading and writing and the rest of the Twilight series

I haven't blogged in quite a bit mostly because I haven't had much to write about of any consequence. I am finding this lack of ability in writing is making itself prevalent in my creative writing as well. In February I started doing some more creative writing and I got on a bit of a roll with it but then March hit and I just didn't feel the urge to write. I wasn't inspired to create characters, stories or much of anything else. I think this may have been because my work-life became suddenly chaotic and I couldn't find any kind of creative outlet to deal with frustration without being miserable and pessimistic.

That being said I have done a heck of a lot of reading. In the past when I have felt lost with writing reading seems to help me find some kind of creative spark. Maybe I draw on other writer's genius but it helps and spurs me forward. For example Elizabeth Gaskell and her long drawn out Victorian writing has been particularly helpful for me. Now a lot of people find her novels incredibly dull and long-winded, which is not surprising if you have read her work. But I think I love the long, analytical descriptions of everything.

So that is a snap-shot into my writing process. It's coming along, my latest venture, but I will not say anything more on that subject at this moment.

Now on to Twilight. Well I finished Breaking Dawn. Yes I read all four books in less than a month and was gripped pretty much throughout the series proving I do indeed have a reading-comprehension level above a 12-year-old even though I my natural maturity may be little more than a 14-year-old's. So Breaking Dawn, I enjoyed it but I still don't think I loved it. I loved seeing Bella and Edward get married and I liked seeing that side of their life together but when she got pregnant and all, I suddenly didn't care as much about the characters because I couldn't associate with them. Now does that make me immature? I'm not a mom and am not really feeling much of a desire to be one at the moment. I wonder if my own issues with motherhood prevented me from loving the novel and feeling a connection with the characters. Bella didn't want to be a mom but than she totally loved it. I didn't get that.

I wanted more a fight at the end. I wanted to see Bella take on the Volturi and be the strong and amazing vampire woman that she became by the end of the novel. I feel like the Volturi came on the scene way to fast. In fact if I was Stephanie Meyer I would have divided Breaking Dawn into at least two books and not just three parts. And I would have made all the Volturi stuff into its own novel because they have been prevalent from the beginning and I felt some how gypped that I didn't get to see the final battle.

And Jake, aw bless him. I almost found myself crushing on him more than Edward by the end of the novel. Now I will say Edward is my number 1 crush hands down but there was that conflict for me. I just found Jake's character really noble and honourable. I appreciated the way he said 'no' to his family and went with the Cullens. There was something exciting in that for me.

Finally Edward, dear Edward. I do love him almost the way I love Mr Darcy, Mr Rochester and some of the other great literary heroes (if you can love a 17-year-old vampire the way you can love a literary masterpiece hero). I love just how much he loves Edward although sometimes he seemed a bit over protective of her but I love he romanced her and surprised and was just there for her no matter what. II still want to know his character better. I've decided to read Midnight Sun when I know about my job future. It will serve as either commiserations or celebrations.

Still watching 24, it's ace and Tony Almeida better not die. And my dinner is ready so I am signing off.

A few thoughts on 24 - SPOILERS

Right after my more recent sad blog, I wanted to share a few thoughts I had on what is only the BEST show on television - 24.
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When the show first started back in the day, it was on Friday nights. Now I was in college and being too cool for school or whatever I couldn't watch it. I also knew I would be immediately addicted to said show. So my senior year when my friend Rich said he watched it I decided to take him up on his offer of watching over it his place. Now that was half way through season 2. Nuclear bombs were going off and it was just crazyness! But I was hooked.

In fact so hooked when my boyfriend (now husband) came all the way from England to visit me in Denver in 2004 I made him watch it cause I couldn't miss it. He had never seen it before and being the nice person he is, he watched it with me. Now how many of us have a partner that would travel like 7,000 miles and watch a television show they have never seen. Bless me, I'm lucky. Well said husband is now hooked too. He started watching it in 2005 from season 1. I think it took him all of a day to watch it even though he knew the big Nina plot twist.

In my humble 24 opinion season 3 was the best, best, best! When Jack Bauer killed Ryan Chapelle I was totally shocked he actually did it. I mean Jack Bauer has saved America and the rest of the world like a billion times but that was far and away the biggest moment in 24 history. Holy crap! And then season 5 when poor Edgar died at CTU, I cried and cried and cried and was seriously depressed the day after I saw it. I still can't think about it without saying, 'poor Edgar.' (Ask Chris.) And I didn't really think Tony Almeida was dead so when he came back I was like, well duh!

So I know 24 is pretty much u-rah-rah America right-wing propaganda but I love it. If Jack Bauer ran for President I would so vote for him. I didn't vote for President Obama in the last election because of President Palmer just so you know. Oh and when it was cancelled/postponed last season I felt serious withdraw symptoms. And when the final series ends, I will probably feel like I lost a little bit of my personal happiness.

One final word on Kim - dude, she has been kidnapped how many times? I still think she will be kidnapped again before the show ends forever. Wasn't convinced about her turning against Jack but there you go.

Wuthering Heights

Wuthering Heights is one of those books I have always struggled with. I think I have read it two or three times but I never seem to get much enjoyment from it. I have no sympathy Catherine. I think she is a spoiled child that toys with people's emotions. She is just not nice. And Heathcliff, well I have a bit more time for him because I know he was treated badly as a child but he is so mean to Cathy and Hareton (the only two characters I think I actually like in the novel). So I know Catherine and Heathcliff has this amazing love for each other, a love that transcends death or something but what the heck? They are horrible people and I don't get why I should celebrate their love for each other.

I've read several commentaries as I try to convince myself that this book is worth my time and my admiration (not that I am some elitist book critic). I've read that their only redeeming qualities are their love for each other because their love is so all-encompassing and beautiful. (And yes this was in Eclipse which I know is not some book about literary criticism but it's what brought up this whole Wuthering Heights thing for me again). But these characters are so selfish and their love is selfish. How does that possibly make them better people? Is it just because they are simply capable of love and willing to do anything for each other? Even Edward Cullen and Bella Swain could not convince me.

Another way I have tried to like Wuthering Heights better is by watching various adaptations of it. Even still I have no sympathy with the characters even when Ralph Fiennes or Laurence Olivier is playing Heathcliff. I still don't get it! I like gothic romances as much as the next person. In fact Victorian gothic literature is slowly becoming one of my favourite areas of literature because of the various layers to the novels.

I'm currently watching a modern adaptation called Sparkhouse and it is totally brilliant. The gender of the Heathcliff and Catherine characters has changed, and because of the various back stories I actually feel something for these characters. (Oh and Richard Armitage is in which is how I found the series but he is not a lead. He still smoulders even as a farmhand). Anyways I believe in Carol and Andrew's (weird, those are my in-laws names!) love and I want them to be reunited eventually, even if it is in death a la Wuthering Heights. I love the idea that their love transcends the hurt of the past.

So why is it that I like this story better than the freakin' book? What the heck am I missing? I know I am a romantic at heart so why do I not feel anything for what is supposedly the most romantic novels in literature?

I'll probably just read it again.

I am seriously 14...

I've always known I'm not the most mature person in the world but I seriously think I have the soul/brain/personality of a 14-year-old. Here are some examples:

• I develop random crushes for no reason at all, albeit they tend to be on celebrities of some degree (Toby Stephens, Richard Armitage, Hugh Jackman to name but a few in recent years...) Now I haven't had a proper crush on someone actually in my life since I met my husband six years ago but I take that as a good thing. Mind you there have been one or two people I have met that I 'fancied' a bit but these little crushes have been like passing thoughts if anything.
• I love boybands, I mean LOVE boybands. My first boyband love was New Kids On The Block. Oh dear, I love them still. I saw them three times when I was nine and I saw them recently at the MEN arena in Manchester. My long suffering husband went with me. And it was such a fun night. I giggled, I whooped and I danced and it was great. I spoke to all these other twenty and thirtysomethings about our fave boys, mine is Jordan and I felt totally at home, like I was with my people or something. Now my other boyband loves include JC of *Nsync who I seriously thought I was supposed to marry as a college student and would argue with anyone who suggested I was delusional. And to a lessser degree Nick Carter of Backstreet Boys. Am I sad? I just think I really like boybands
• And Britney Spears :-)
• And American Idol/X Factor
• And pretty much any pop music aimed at teens. (I haven't gotten into Miley Cyrus but there is still time.)

So that brings me to my latest discovery. I was at work today, a proper newspaper job mind you, and I was talking to the work experience girl named Poppy, what a wonderful name that is. She is 15, nice girl. She sees the book I am reading, Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer.

Let me digress - I am infatuated/in love/obsessed with the Twilight book series at the moment. That in itself probably shows my general maturity level. Basically I am reading book three and I have only been reading the series for nine days, some of which I was on vacation with my husband in Prague during. I find myself pining for the chance to read the book at work when I am suffering from writer's block.

I love Edward Cullen despite him being a 17-year-old fictional vampire. (Does that make me a peado since I am 28?) I won't go into too many details about the series but I love them and I am kicking myself for not reading the books before the movie was released in December. I missed it! I missed it in the theatre! Grrrrr...

So back to me and Poppy - I tell her how much I am enjoying the series and she says does too.
'Have you seen the movie?' I ask.
'Yes it is really good.' She says.
I say, 'I am really sad I missed it in the theatre.'
'It was good but what I really liked about it is Robert Pattinson.' (For those who don't know, he plays vampire Edward Cullen. PS - I so had to look up the spelling of his name before I put it in this.)
'Yes,' I say.
'You know he is Cedric in Harry Potter,' she asks.
'Yes,' I say. 'I was so sad when he died because he was so cute in the movie.'
'I know,' she said and that ends our conversation.
Now none of my work colleagues are in this conversation other than to ask what Twilight is. As soon as they learn, they get all busy with work again like it is some inconsequential thing. I want to order them to read Twilight but I stop myself.

Now is it bad that I am obsessed with teenage vampire fiction? Is it bad that I know who Robert Pattinson is and I can have a talk with a teenager about him? Is it wrong that my husband has warned me that I have an exam to study for on Friday and should not be distracting myself with vampire fiction? The fact I am procrastinating the way I am just reaffirms how immature I totally am.

I don't know if this just who I am, this weird person that develops regular infatuations like a teenager. Or maybe I am seriously 14 and that's it. Maybe I will never be an adult.