I am seriously 14...

I've always known I'm not the most mature person in the world but I seriously think I have the soul/brain/personality of a 14-year-old. Here are some examples:

• I develop random crushes for no reason at all, albeit they tend to be on celebrities of some degree (Toby Stephens, Richard Armitage, Hugh Jackman to name but a few in recent years...) Now I haven't had a proper crush on someone actually in my life since I met my husband six years ago but I take that as a good thing. Mind you there have been one or two people I have met that I 'fancied' a bit but these little crushes have been like passing thoughts if anything.
• I love boybands, I mean LOVE boybands. My first boyband love was New Kids On The Block. Oh dear, I love them still. I saw them three times when I was nine and I saw them recently at the MEN arena in Manchester. My long suffering husband went with me. And it was such a fun night. I giggled, I whooped and I danced and it was great. I spoke to all these other twenty and thirtysomethings about our fave boys, mine is Jordan and I felt totally at home, like I was with my people or something. Now my other boyband loves include JC of *Nsync who I seriously thought I was supposed to marry as a college student and would argue with anyone who suggested I was delusional. And to a lessser degree Nick Carter of Backstreet Boys. Am I sad? I just think I really like boybands
• And Britney Spears :-)
• And American Idol/X Factor
• And pretty much any pop music aimed at teens. (I haven't gotten into Miley Cyrus but there is still time.)

So that brings me to my latest discovery. I was at work today, a proper newspaper job mind you, and I was talking to the work experience girl named Poppy, what a wonderful name that is. She is 15, nice girl. She sees the book I am reading, Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer.

Let me digress - I am infatuated/in love/obsessed with the Twilight book series at the moment. That in itself probably shows my general maturity level. Basically I am reading book three and I have only been reading the series for nine days, some of which I was on vacation with my husband in Prague during. I find myself pining for the chance to read the book at work when I am suffering from writer's block.

I love Edward Cullen despite him being a 17-year-old fictional vampire. (Does that make me a peado since I am 28?) I won't go into too many details about the series but I love them and I am kicking myself for not reading the books before the movie was released in December. I missed it! I missed it in the theatre! Grrrrr...

So back to me and Poppy - I tell her how much I am enjoying the series and she says does too.
'Have you seen the movie?' I ask.
'Yes it is really good.' She says.
I say, 'I am really sad I missed it in the theatre.'
'It was good but what I really liked about it is Robert Pattinson.' (For those who don't know, he plays vampire Edward Cullen. PS - I so had to look up the spelling of his name before I put it in this.)
'Yes,' I say.
'You know he is Cedric in Harry Potter,' she asks.
'Yes,' I say. 'I was so sad when he died because he was so cute in the movie.'
'I know,' she said and that ends our conversation.
Now none of my work colleagues are in this conversation other than to ask what Twilight is. As soon as they learn, they get all busy with work again like it is some inconsequential thing. I want to order them to read Twilight but I stop myself.

Now is it bad that I am obsessed with teenage vampire fiction? Is it bad that I know who Robert Pattinson is and I can have a talk with a teenager about him? Is it wrong that my husband has warned me that I have an exam to study for on Friday and should not be distracting myself with vampire fiction? The fact I am procrastinating the way I am just reaffirms how immature I totally am.

I don't know if this just who I am, this weird person that develops regular infatuations like a teenager. Or maybe I am seriously 14 and that's it. Maybe I will never be an adult.